in autumn,
i flourish.
And if I asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.
That summer, I hated myself for falling out of love with you.
I swear I did. I despised myself.
You, with your kind eyes. You, with your beautiful hands. You, who regarded the world with such wonder, who never gave up on the opportunity to tell me that you loved me.
What did I do to deserve you? I thought.
Whatever did you do to deserve me?
You began to sob when I said it was over. I almost regretted it right there and then.
But I didn’t. And I hate that part the most. I regretted that you were hurt; and if I could have taken all of your pain I would have done, but I didn’t regret leaving. I knew it was the right thing, yet for months afterwards I still despised myself for it.
